4...almost and my leg

Saxon is going to be 4 on Sunday. Wait what? Sunday? That kid better slow down! He's getting too big too fast. ;-) I cannot believe he's gonna be four that soon. Ack! Where does the time go? I'm gonna be 14 in two months.....52 days to be exact. Which means...next summer I get a drivers permit! Yup, in Alaska you can get a permit when you're 14 1/2. But just a permit. You still have to be 16 to get a license. Abigail (my friend) got a hers a few days ago. I can't wait. Although I really hope I can steer because in all the games I play I stink at steering...but I am always going super fast in those. So I'm sure it won't be a problem.  Why I am telling you this when it's not even gonna happen until next year? I have no clue. So...my leg. I think the bad days are more frequent than the good days of late. I go to the Drs on Tuesday. So I'm worriedly waiting what he's gonna say. Some of the questions I've asked Mama have been like: What if he thinks it's not time to get a boot yet? If he doesn't am I just gonna keep this cast for a couple more weeks or am I gonna get a new one? If he decides it's time for a boot (certainly not for walking on yet but just so I can take it off and flex my ankle) is he gonna make me move my ankle while I'm there? How far is he gonna make me bend it? And the one that pops up in my ever questioning mind, but the one that I try to not think about or ask and most certainly not believe is gonna happen, what if it isn't healing correctly? Then what? Another surgery? Please, Jesus, no. I don't know what in the world I would do if that happened. Actually, I think I would just start bawling and asking a bunch of nonsense questions about it. But I haven't made a thankful list in a bit so lets try that!

1-It's better than it was in the beginning.

2-My toes feel more normal...not totally normal but a little more normal.

3-I go to the Drs on Tuesday...that's good right? Lot less waiting to do now.

4-I am still being waited on hand and foot. :-D

5-I have more time to do art...and school...which I need to do more than I do now...school.   :-(

6-I got an early b-day present which was an Irish tin whistle. And I have lots of spare time to learn a song on it...the hoops will like that song. ;-)

7-I get to sleep in my Mamas bed every so often (like tonight) because it's more comfortable.

8-oooooo...here's one I never thought of. At night when we go to bed and I get in bed and am asked to turn the lights off after I've gotten in bed...that's doesn't happen anymore...because I can't get out of bed on my own because our bed is on the floor so I can't lift myself that high. Haha! I like that one ;-) 

9-Saxon and everyone has been needing more sleep. And the way Saxon is is this:he wakes up in the middle of the night wanting Mama and begins to bawl and yell for Mama because he's too afraid to walk to the bedroom alone so then I'm woken up and have to either text Mama to come or convince Saxon to go to Mama. If the latter happens he, of course, goes in crying and yelling at Mama because he's mad at her for leaving him in bed and not coming which then wakes Daddy up...and somehow Piersen sleeps through it. So the past few nights Mama and Saxon have slept in Mamas room while daddy, Piersen and I are in the kids room so we can all catch up on sleep. Tonight daddy and I are sleeping in Mama's bed...so where I'm going with all this is: lately at night when I go to bed I have Daddy to snuggle and/or console me. And it helps me feel that if I wake up in the middle of the night someone will be there to help and/or comfort me if I need it. 

10-This isn't really because of my leg but I convinced Mama to buy Nutella at Costco so the boys and I have been eating a lot of Nutella on spoons and pretzels...until Mama says no. ;-)

So that's that! It's sad to think that I'm such a sinful person I could probably come up with more bad and annoying things about my leg than good and happy things. 

Mama says she thinks one of the things I'm doing to make this even harder on myself is not accepting it. I'm always whining and complaining and wishing that this hasn't happened to me than just accepting it. She tells me that wishing it hadn't happened isn't going to change anything. It happened and...that's all. I can't change it now. I can't decide to not go on that four wheeler on Sunday. I wanted to go, I went, I broke my leg. Deal with it. 

So advice for people without a broken leg: Don't take walking for granted! Seriously, it is SO true. Even a lady at church said that I'll never take walking for granted again. I immediately agreed. 

Yes, I've gone to church the last two Sundays now. We have church at the Zimmerman RealEstate Office so I sit in a big puffy chair with another one that has a few pillows on it in front of me and just sit there. I guess I'll go now. Daddy said as soon as I'm finished with my blogpost I have to go to bed. He's putting the boys to bed with Mama. And I can't think of anything else to say. I love you all! And if you'd pray for good results on Tuesday...that'd be awesome. Thanks, Guys. I love you. 

Oh, a few words for myself when I'm complaining: you didn't break both. So suck it up and shush. ;-P 

Or I could just pull out the bible and read these verses:

Romans 8:28

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:35-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

36 As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." 

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,

39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I guess I'll leave you with those. More me really, I need to read those verses more often. I love you all...more than you'll ever know. Goodnight. :-)